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Why Are You Losing Your  Friends?

woman with shocked expression

It’s easy to start losing friends as you get older. Different priorities, changes in personalities, or distance can turn even the closest of friends into mere acquaintances. However, what if even the friends who you cherish the most start dropping out of your radar? The following could be the reasons why.

You don’t show up when it matters.

Friendships require spending time with each other, celebrating the highs and commiserating in the lows. If you are there for the happy celebrations but choose to be conveniently absent when the storms hit, your friends might start see you as nothing more than a fair weather friend. And you could be! Being a true friend means showing up even when it’s hard, inconvenient or uncomfortable, so show up when it matters.

You’re a flake.

Are you the kind of friend who flakes out of the coffee or brunch date at the last minute? Your friends may have understood your tendency to back out of get-togethers through the years, but this habit can get pretty old. It is also downright rude. Flaking often means that you think some other thing is more worthy of your time than that get-together and this sends a pretty clear signal to your friends. Sooner or later, you may find yourself uninvited from future gatherings and you may have no one to blame but yourself.

You don’t support your friends.

Whether it's a business, a hobby or a new relationship, we want to know that friends support the things we do. However, some  people stay silent or give lukewarm congratulations at best when a friend announces a success or a new life or business decision.  Do this frequently enough and you may realize that you’re not the genuine friend you thought you were, and your friends may actually realize this too.

You don’t know how to apologize.

Misunderstandings and conflicts occur in friendships just like they do in other relationships. The good thing about most friendships is that you can get past the arguments once everyone has acknowledged their wrongs and apologized.

However, if you are the type who doesn’t know how to say sorry, this could be a reason why friends start pulling away. Adult arguments happen for a reason, and in most cases proper, sincere apologies need to be given before forgiveness can happen.

Without a proper apology, you are widening the gap between you and the other person until the friendship starts to die a slow, awkward death.

You don’t put in the work.

Friendships do not just happen by accident. They need work and effort from both sides in order to flourish and become the source of encouragement, support and companionship that makes friendships so fulfilling.

We’re all busy, but if you are consistently putting other obligations ahead of  your friends, this can be a pretty good signal that tells your friends they might be better off backing away from your life.

Don’t be  just a  passive recipient of all the good things that a friendship can give. Be proactive about reaching out, spending time, and showing your appreciation. These can go a long way when it comes to sustaining friendships, especially ones that took years to build.


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